Shalom beloveds
Being single comes with its unique set of experiences. A lot of people will place you on an operation table and try to dissect or fix you. They will see you differently, make ignorant remarks and ask you strange questions. These are just some of the questions I am asked on a regular basis: “When are you getting married?”, “Why is a beautiful woman such as yourself still single?”, “You’re too pretty to be single.”. People will also try to play match maker, as if you’re walking around with a big sign around your neck that says: “Single. Need a partner. Please Help!”. These are just a few of the many things people say or do when they find out that I am still single and unmarried. It does get tiresome, and there are days when it really drives me nuts, because I am more than my marital status. What really gets me upset about this topic is the ignorance within churches and faith communities: the lack of space that they hold for us single people. We don’t really have much conferences, courses, learning material, or events on this topic as much as married people do. Why do churches (and the world) idolise marriage? Jesus, and some of His disciples, were single, and they did extremely well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being married is wrong, but why don’t church communities celebrate singleness? Why are singles being treated like a disease or outcasts? There is little to no space or ministry for the season and gift of singleness. Yes, to be single is a gift. Every season YHWH allows in our lives are gifts that He gives us, to be refined: to learn, to grow, or to heal. But the season of singleness is sometimes treated with shame, pity or it’s frowned upon. This is one of those seasons in life that faith based communities don’t talk much about.
I am a happily single woman. The reason I am currently single is because I was in an abusive marriage which led me to leave my ex-husband, for safety, and eventually divorce him. This time around I am choosing to be intentionally single. It has allowed me to get to know myself thoroughly, to grow and heal in ways I could never before, and I am thriving! The gift of being single has its ups and downs. One of the hardest parts of being single is watching people live past you: their lives are growing and moving (while yours seem as though it is still at the same place), people are getting married (while you’re still single), people are having children (while you’re still waiting to be a parent) and people are living out their dreams (while you’re still trusting YHWH to open up the doors to yours). These are some of those moments that can put a damper on being single, and may make any single person feel lonely or depressed. But then there are those moments that takes your breath away, and make you say “My, oh my! My God never fails!”. These are the boosts of strength where Adonai’s blessings and love catches you off guard and makes you want to break out in song. These are the reminders that pushes you to carry on within this season and trust in His plan for your life. These are the moments that keep you going and living.
This month I will be sharing the stories of a few amazing individuals who are also in the season of singleness. When the Lord gave me their names, I felt a wave of excitement and joy, because I knew that their testimony of singleness will bless both the unmarried and the married. They will be sharing about their journey with singleness, so that other single people out there can be encouraged and blessed. I purposefully chose to share these wonderful stories during the infamous “month of love”, because if nobody will make or hold space for us singles, then we need to burst forth and take that space for ourselves. (Cue the stage lights please!). So as I continue to relish within my own season of singleness, I am reminded of the love of the Father and the assurance within knowing that my identity is found within Yeshua and His peace. I wrote a little prayer for my future husband: Dear future husband, I don’t need you to complete me, I’m already completed through Yeshua. I need you to add to the Kingdom of YHWH with me and to be all who He has created you to be, so that the will of YHWH is fulfilled through each of us individually and through our union in marriage, for all the days to come. I hope and pray that you love Adonai with all your heart, mind, body and spirit, because I try to every day. I pray this in the name of Yeshua.
Maybe you are in this season, going through the same struggles of being single, and if you are, I want to encourage you with the following: there is purpose within this season, it is not only to wait on the Lord, but to also not waste any time while you wait. Live and thrive. Get to know yourself and heal. Explore and adventure within the Kingdom of YHWH. Embrace yourself, savour this season and lastly, enjoy this time.
Thank you for reading, till next time…
Peace and blessings in Yeshua!
