Shalom beloveds
Cindy is an amazing woman but also an amazing mother to two boys. Hearing stories about them every now and again is such a delight. We often focus on women and girls in this generation of ‘feminism’, but making space for boys, growing into men, are just as important. Shaping boys to be men of valour and honour, who respect and show kindness towards females is essential. Teaching today’s boys (and girls) is imperative in molding them to be tomorrow’s good and righteous leaders. Below Cindy shares her story about raising her boys to be that and more.
Please give us a short introduction to who you are and what you do?
Hi there, I am Cindy Julius. I am 39 years old. I am happily married to my husband Marvin and we have two beautiful and very precious boys named Matthew and Adam, aged 10 and 7. They are exactly 1 year and 11 months apart. Mondays to Fridays, I am a full time working mom and when I come home in the evening, I dive straight into my next shift of:
1. How was your day at school?
2. What is the most favorite thing that happened in your day?
3. What is the worst thing that happened today?
4. Do you have homework Etc.?
The aim is to get them to talk about their day as opposed to “it was fine mommy”. And all this I need to do while I’m busy preparing dinner. It’s routine for us already and it seems to be working out just fine. On Saturdays we do very little outgoing and more staying indoors playing games and just spending quality time with each other. Sundays we go to church. We have recently given our eldest son the opportunity to operate the computer and the projector. He is really enjoying working in the Kingdom of God. He has found purpose. In my opinion, it really just helps with reading different languages and focusing really hard, and at the same time learning the tunes of the songs and memorizing the lyrics. I feel like that is what parents should instill in their kids’ lives. It is important to teach them about the kingdom of God and train them up in the way that they should go so that one day when they are all grown up, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22: 6). If we don’t teach them about the light of God then the world will teach them about all its darkness.
How has motherhood changed your life?
It’s changed my life radically and drastically. No more “me” time! No more sleep time! No more privacy! And I just mean no more going to the bathroom alone lol! It’s really been an adjustment for all of us. But you learn to adapt and adjust to the situation each day. You learn that their crying is only their way to communicate with us as parents. It is never to annoy or irritate us, but it could simply be one of three things:
1. Hungry
2. Nappy change
3. Really not feeling well
We really just learn something new about our kids every day.
What are the joys of raising sons?
I love that they are my blessing from God. That He has entrusted these boys to me. Raising them is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it. I cuddle with them every day and tell them to never change for anyone. And if they want to see change they’ve got to be the change. I tell them that I love them because they need to know that all the time. I teach them tough love, but also we can’t always be tough. And it’s ok to break down at times, but only for a while because we must get up and move on. I realize every day that I’ve got a lot to be grateful for. God has only given me the best of the best. My husband is also a great part of all of this. I would have never have made it without his support. And they are my joy!
What are the challenges of raising sons?
Lots of challenges! Two boys with different needs and demands- every day is a challenge. As they grow older, the challenges become greater. I learn something new about them every day. The most recent big challenge I would like to share is one that hit right through the cracks for me and I will not go into too much detail, but what I will say is that as they grow older, their bodies are exposed and they start to feel and experience change in their bodies just as girls do. And its okay, it’s not wrong for them to have these feelings. It is only their bodies preparing for puberty and adolescence. Because it was all so new to me, I didn’t exactly handle things well. I assumed the worse and thought my innocent child is going to get someone pregnant (not now obviously, but maybe in his teenage years). As a mother I couldn’t understand what I am seeing in my son, until I spoke and sought help and advice from a pediatrician. Every now and again we also need a little help understanding our kids and to know that they are doing just fine and that this is exactly how it was meant to be.
If you could go back and change anything regarding your journey as a “boy mom”, what would you change?
I would change having depression when my eldest son was just born. I went through horrible stage of depression during and after my first pregnancy. I didn’t want to bond with my son. I didn’t even want to look at him. All I did was cry and felt uncomfortable. I really wanted to be able to breastfeed, but I couldn’t even do that. He just wouldn’t latch and that nearly threw me off the edge. I already felt like such a failure and that nobody loved me and then here comes this new creation, a true gift from God, into this world and he doesn’t like me too. I was heartbroken and also angry. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be a mom and it’s something I wanted for such a long time. There was nothing wrong with my child. It was all me. I would without a doubt change going through depression, because it stripped me from that mother and child bonding moment that every mom looks forward to. My child didn’t deserve to be treated like he didn’t belong.
What values do you instill in your sons (within a God fearing context) especially regarding the world we live in today?
We taught them many scriptures from the Bible, but if I can quote one scripture that simply says it, it would be Proverbs 3: 5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”. This scripture to me is one of the many guidelines to live by. And I believe and also agree with Proverbs 22:6 that we should train up a child in the way he should go; when he is older he will not depart from it. We live in a world where Satan walks around like a roaring lion waiting to devour us and unfortunately, in times like these our kids are his prey.
What kind of men would you like your sons to become?
I pray that they will become honorable, capable and anointed men in the Kingdom of God, that they be useful for God’s Kingdom, that they will be steadfast men with a backbone for Christ, that they will preach the Gospel to this lost world and that when they speak the name of Jesus that the lost will be saved. I declare it and I speak it over their lives every day.
Please feel free to share anything else the Lord has impressed on your heart or a special message regarding motherhood for our readers?
Motherhood has its different challenges and as mothers it’s expected of us to be the superheroes in every story, but I want to encourage all the superhero moms out there that sometimes we also need to gather ourselves and take off the cape we’ve been wearing whole day. To those mothers who feel that they have failed their children in some way, I want to tell you that you have done all you could to give them a happy home. To those moms who have had to play the roles of both parents, I salute you. I know it is never easy, but through every storm you have faced you made it. To those moms who have lost a child to the violence in this world, may God always be your source of comfort and of strength. I speak healing and restoration over your life right now in the Name of Jesus Christ. And to every other woman, wife and mother, I speak Proverbs 31: 25-31: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” . Emmanuel – God is with you.
Thank you for reading, till next time…
Peace and blessings in Yeshua!
