Shalom beloveds
Judy Thebus is an extraordinary woman of God who’s also a single mother of a wonderful young boy. I met her and her son a few years ago shortly after I gave my life to Jesus. We were both doing Kids Church Ministry at a local church I used to attend. We instantaneously connected about our individual testimonies. She has taught me so much, especially during our one-on-one catch up sessions and our heart-to-hearts. I admire her resilience and the way she approaches motherhood. As a divorcee herself, she has been a great confidant and I value her friendship so much. I’ve watched her raise her son so beautifully in the little moments she shares to the world. Motherhood, and specifically being a “boy-mom” in today’s world, is a topic I haven’t spoken to her about before… until recently. Below she shares more about it.
Motherhood has changed me in every single way. I’ve become more flexible and way more aware of our surroundings by learning to be patient, talking more, thinking of another person’s needs above yours and being more responsible. I am a single mother to a son. I got divorced 6 months after David was born, so he never knew me as anything other than a single mother. He met his dad at the age of 1 as I tried my very best to keep that avenue open, but it was only coming from my side and my ex-husband and his family no longer have active relationships with my son. Motherhood has really made me rely solely on God with every breath I have. God has really been faithful, loving and so generous with David and me. He has really been a good, good Father. I’m very grateful for my sister and her husband as they have really been supportive in every sense of that word. My son looks up to my brother in-law and that blesses my heart.
One of the best gifts God has blessed me with: David keeps me on my toes. He very quickly reminds me of a particular Bible story when I’m either in a mood or venting. Getting to do all the activities with him keeps me young at heart. David is a very chilled boy, enjoys the outdoors, soccer, hockey, rugby, swimming, surfing, mountain biking and camping. I thought asking God for a son would mean, no drama, LOL, but boy was I in for a surprise. He is very affectionate, loves quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch.
The challenges were very different as I was doing the parenting on my own. Having no clue about having children, my mother helped with that. But then the spiritual equipping had to come from God. I think the one thing women lack is being Godmothers to other women. I’m thankful for the women who availed themselves to assist with David so that I could take a shower, clean or just take a break. The first 6 months of being a mom: I never had an income and my church pastors and leaders gathered around me to support us financially. I can honestly say that I have never knocked on my ex-husband’s door or his parent’s door for anything that David needed, God truly provided.
There is nothing that I would change. The highs, the lows, everything has contributed to where I am today. There are so many women out there who are struggling to conceive and carry a baby to term, so no, I would do it all over again, maybe make better choices with my attitude when I was married.
I’ve come to learn that children don’t do what we say, but what we do. So as I live and walk in my daily life- this is what David is going to mirror. Teaching him about Jesus is everything for us, because the only reference I have is the Bible- His Living Word. Teaching him to be counter- cultural, showing love at all times and just being who God created you to be, as there is only one you. The communication line between David is very vital, so when he wants to talk, I’m all ears because I am very aware that David will change at 12 and I will have to learn and adapt to different sides of him. I’m very involved, however, I’m not a helicopter parent, but I’m there when he needs me. Love, kindness, peace, joy, loyalty, graciousness and respect are just a few of the values that I pray will just grow and flourish.
My prayer is that David becomes the man God has purposed him to be. That despite the things the world tells him he lacked in his life, he will look to God whose image he bears and know that he lacks nothing the world offers. That he will be strong and courageous in Jesus and that the Word of God will be written on his heart.
I’ve learnt not to force Christianity onto my son. I want him to seek Jesus for himself and based on how I lead and live my life is the only way I can show him Jesus.
Thank you for reading, till next time…
Peace and blessings in Yeshua!
